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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

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spring has sprung by awfulsara

1. Stumble Upon. You just click a button and you’re taken to another website. The best thing is that you actually can limit Stumbling to topics you’re interested in. Great for research but it’s a terribly addictive tool. Use only when you have a lot of time.

2. Random Generator. Anything that has ‘random’ in the name, threatens to be addictive. And if you’re just one click away from any number of possible scenarios for your work… It’s an even bigger threat. For more sophisticated time-wasters there are also Seventh Sanctum Generators. Use with causion.

3. Bejeweled 2. Don’t question the power of this wonder. It’s the most addictive, mindless game there is (unless you’re one of those Zuma freaks) and nothing wates time like their ‘endless’ option. But it’s refreshing and allows your brain to relax. So it helps in the end. When you force yourself to hit ‘exit’.

4. Fanfics. Think John Sheppard and Rodney McKay from the sci-fi show “Stargate: Atlantis”. Now think the movie “The Lakehouse”. Apparently there is a fic. A remake of “Lakehouse” with Sheppard and McKay as Keanu and Sandra. It’s an absolute waste of time, those fics. They might cause a head trauma (a permanent one even) and they are generally unhealthy.
But they definitely teach you how to look at things from a whole new perspective.

5. Watch grass grow. Or do something equally unproductive. When you don’t do anything, your mind takes a break. It goes places you’d be surprised to visit when functioning normally. Personally, I managed to create two separate universes just by staring into the distance.

6. Donate rice to charity. Oh yeah. You can also expand your vocabulary, but really, who would care about that. You donate to charity! Now!

7. Archives. Of blogs you read frequently. Go back to their beginning. Watch how they evolve. See the improvement. And well… Enjoy them. Especially if they are popular blogs, the beginnings can be especially amusing.

8. Comment. To people’s posts. Master the idea of saying a lot of things in just a few words. Or if you think people are idiots, comment to this post. I, unlike people, have cookies.

Stumble It!

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Writer’s State of Mind

With NaNoWriMo starting in just a few hours let’s make sure we’re in that writing zone. Because planning, skills and simply wanting to write a novel won’t help you finish it. The key to finish any novel is the right state of mind.

Don’t think: “I’m going to write a novel”.

Think: “I’m going to finish a novel”.

If you’re doing NaNo and it’s crucial for your self-esteem to finish the novel in November,

Think: “I’m going to finish my novel in November”.

And don’t stop writing until the novel is done. Even if it means that for you, November will have 39 days or more.
Come to think of it, it doesn’t even matter if you have Christmas in November. As long as that novel is finished.

Bend the reality to make things happen 🙂

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Lately I’ve been reading archives of Confessions of an English Gentleman. And it got me thinking.
I came to a conclusion that all writers are in the end in a bit toxic, D/s relationship with their muse. Please, bear with me as I explain.

Every writer works with some kind of a muse. I hope nobody can disagree on this one.
Sometimes it’s a person, sometimes an object and sometimes it’s simply an abstract ‘it’ which is there for us to blame everything on. Whatever it is for each writer, it inspires to create, helps to get through the difficult paragraphs, in some cases it mediates between the writer and the characters.

Now, there are two ways the relationship between the writer and the muse can work.

1. Muse says ‘jump’, Writer asks ‘how high’
I’m friends with quite a few writers and I’m a writer myself. And I noticed that this kind of relationship between Writer and Muse is the most common. Writer waits around until the Muse ‘hits him’ (with an idea that is sometimes called a ‘plot bunny’) and after that Writers sits down and starts writing like mad until S/He can’t think straight anymore.
It’s clearly a submissive kind of a writer.

If we were to paint a scene Muse would be this tall redhead with lips painted red. In a black leather corset, stockings and black high heel boot. Maybe even with a whip in her hand. And there in front of her, on his knees, would be a small skinny man almost naked, only in black boxerbriefs and a big collar. Looking up at his Mistress, worship clear in his eyes. Waiting for a one word. Only one word that would give him a sense of existance. “Write.”

This relationship, however common it is, poses quite a few difficulties. For one, it is very difficult to meet any kind of a deadline. One never knows when the need to write strikes and it might be days before an idea comes to you. Another drawback is that if you leave your story (be it an article, a novel or an essay) because your muse is not kind at the moment, said moment might turn into days, weeks and with time you’re no longer interested in completing the work. In those case it’s rare to come back to the story you’ve set aside. Because you and you muse moved on to something more interesting.

Sometime a submissive writers attempts to write with him muse around. Wanting to write short pieces or small paragraphs in the wait for his Muse to show up and let him commit a Great Piece everybody will praise.
The question is: assuming each good piece needs a blessing from the muse, is writing bunch of not-so-good stories worth it? Is a great author still ‘great’ if his track record looks like a bumpy road?
I suppose in this case it’s like with every D/s relationship. It all depends whether the Dom, in this case our Muse, is a good and generous one or not.

2. Muse says ‘please’, Writer says ‘now’
This relationship is difficult one but in a completely different sense than the previous one. It’s achieved by a long training, lots of willpower and spanking. Not everybody is suitable for this. To have the willpower, the determination and the most important – the patience. You see it takes time. Lots of it. Writers sits around, but doesn’t wait for muse to come to him. Instead he writes down ideas he gets from the muse. He writes regularly. For example once a day, on a regular basis. And with time, his Muse bends to his will. Giving him better and better ideas, helping with the plot twists.
Pleasing his Master.

To, again paint a scene from a D/s world. Writers sits in an armchair, comfortable, relaxed. Then he decided it’s time. He waves his hand at his Muse, standing in the corner in a cute little schoolgirl outfit. She was waiting for it. Now all she wants is to please her Writer. She has all those ideas she hopes he uses. Uses her.

The tables are turned. The deadlines are met. The writing is nothing but improving. It only gets better. One might think that if someone has this particular relationship with their Muse they hit the jackpot. But come to think of it. How many great ideas were lost because the writer didn’t want to submit to the muse. How much did the writer limit himself by training himself in the art or writing. Is there any spontaneity left?
I can’t answer those questions as I, myself, am my Muse’s bitch. Not very proud of it, but still. The fact remains.
And the question you should ask yourself is… Which category does your relationship with your Muse fall into?

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